When Pain is All You Know
I feel like crying, screaming, shouting, yelling, swinging, and punching the shit out of myself for allowing myself to be treated like I don't matter in this world. I matter. I thought that he was my soul mate and that I could not live without him 😔. So much for that. When the only thing that he has ever done to me was yell,scream, belittle me, front me off, and call me ugly names while I was his ride or die. See let's start this story from the beginning. Hi my name is Chinesia Browman and I'm a thirty-seven year old black woman who is in active addiction ,emotionally damaged, physically drained, and fed up with this lifestyle that I have created for myself. First off I grew up in Augusta,Georgia on August 2nd,1988 at MCG Medical Center. My parents had me at the age of eighteen years old and I lived with both of my parents, a sister, and two identical twin brothers. I’m the oldest so alot of responsibility was left to me. As a young child I had mental health problems like depression and ADHD bad so I stayed to myself alot. I use to pee in the bed almost every night and well let’s just say that wasn't allowed whatsoever in my house. My mother was the strict parent my dad was more lenient so I always felt that I could talk to him more. I got kicked out of my parents house at the age of nine years old because I peed in the bed and I didn't have anywhere to go or I didn't know who to call. So I walk up this big ass hill to the first house I seen and knocked on the door and this little skinny real sweet lady came to the door and instantly insisted that I come in so I did. I ask if I could use her phone and I called my grandmother who had one of my uncles to come and get me so while I wait the little nice lady made me some watered down kool-aid that I didn't like very much. So my uncle pulls up all ghetto as hell yelling and shit talking about where my niece at? Got me out here in no man’s land talking about my baby niece walking down the street by herself I jumped out my sleep and into my shoes jumped in the window and took off vroom ya hear me he says I was cracking up.